Salvation Has It's Price
by Rachel.Rosa.Belikova
Summary: Murder. Love. Jealousy. Now that Rose is on trial for her life, and Lissa is next in line to become Queen, nothing will ever be the same. With everyone's life at stake, can they save themselves? But salvation has it's price...   After Spirit Bound.
1. Chapter 1

**I decided to write my (first) FanFiction, and was inspired by some amazing authors on here! I wanted to write one because I plan on writing my own book and wanted some practice. Please let me know what you think - and tell me if it sucks so I don't embarrass myself any further! But... be nice. It's my first one, after all. If you guys like it, I'll post the next chapter, which I HAVE already written.**

**- Rachel :)**

CHAPTER 1

The grey walls of my cell seemed like they were closing in around me. I stared straight ahead, ignoring the guardians that were posted around my stupid jail cell.

Ignoring the slow, steady dripping of water leaking from the ceiling.

Ignoring the sound of life above ground.

Ignoring everything.

I groaned, kicking the wall of my cell and putting my head in my hands. I was pretty sure I was going nuts. And if I wasn't, I was bloody well about to.

How the _hell_ had this happened?

I was locked in jail – which, ironically, happened to be the exact same cell that _he _had stayed in – accused of murdering the Queen, going to go to a trial that I would surely lose, and then be executed.

Don't you just love life?

I couldn't let this happen. All the whole 18 years of my life, I had lived to be a guardian. I wasn't anymore. I wasn't going to see Lissa again. I wouldn't even get to know my own parents. I wouldn't ever get to live my life. Hell, I was only eighteen. I hadn't lived…I hadn't seen the world. But most importantly…I would never be able to be with Dimitri again.

And I couldn't let that happen…and I wouldn't. Jesus, I was Rose Hathaway. Rose Hathaway would never give up. Not now.

I sat down on the bed, opening my mind, trying to slip into Lissa's head. It worked.

"_Why won't you listen?" Lissa cried, exasperated. She stared, wide eyed at the guardian. "She didn't do it. She's innocent. Why won't you understand?" _

"_Liss-" Christian started, but Lissa cut him off._

"_No! This isn't right. I can't believe they think she actually murdered the Queen. They have to let me talk to her." _

_She turned to the guard again, tears in her eyes – silently pleading._

_The guardian shook his head and grimaced. "I'm sorry princess – but I have strict orders from the Court. No one is to see Rose." And then, just like that, he turned on his heel and left the room. _

_Lissa sat down, holding onto the chair for support. "I'm going to find a way. I have to. She needs me." she said, her voice determined. I felt touched that Lissa wanted to see if I was okay._

_Adrian spoke for the first time. "I can try and visit her tonight," he said quietly. _

_Since I had been locked up, Adrian hadn't shown in my dreams. At first I was surprised. But now I realised that he had been trying to give me space, and hadn't wanted to pester me. _

_And then, that voice spoke._

_The voice that I would know anywhere, dead or alive._

"_There has to be another way," he said slowly. I – Lissa- turned to him. _

_He looked ragged and tired, and I could tell he hadn't slept properly in a days. Weeks, even. But he still looked…as perfect as ever._

_It hurt to see him. It brought back memories that I really did not want to deal with right now. But why was he there? Why did he even care? He should be happy now. He didn't have to deal with me anymore. I was locked up, and about to die._

_Lissa looked up, frowning. "You don't mean-" She gasped, jumping up, nearly tipping the chair over and Christian along with it. "Yes!" _

_Christian looked at her like she was crazy._

_Dimitri got up, walking over to Lissa and put his hands on my – her – shoulders. "We can do this. I will go talk to Abe Mazur and see if he can-"_

"_What's Rose to _you_?" snapped Adrian. _

_Great. They were all here._

"_You never cared about her until now. You _hurt_ her. You pushed her away, when she tried to help you. Leave her alone." Adrian's voice was threatening. _

_Dimitri flinched, but anger flickered in his deep brown eyes. "You know _nothing_ of me and Rose," he growled, his tone matching Adrian's. _

_What? What did he mean, _me and Rose_?_

_Adrian snorted. "So that's why you did this? To protect her? Look what's happened to her now." _

_Lissa silently begged Adrian to stop, staring into his emerald green eyes. I felt a trickle of compulsion come from her, and Adrian relaxed slightly. I was surprised it worked; he was a spirit user too. Unless he had been drinking…_

"_Princess," Dimitri said, and she turned her attention back to him. "I need you to-" He stopped, his eyes widening. He looked into my eyes. _

_Mine, not Lissa's. And at the moment, he may have seen into my soul. And I was pretty sure I saw his._

_His eyes filled with disbelief, and pain. _

_No. No, no, no. I had to get out. NOW. This wasn't happening._

_The next single word that came from his mouth confirmed my fears. _

"_Roza?"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the second chapter. I wasn't going to post it until tomorrow, but I figured I wouldn't get any more reviews. I know you guys are reading it and adding it to alerts and stuff, so could you please review as well? Thankyou to those of you who did :) lol oops! I was so excited about starting this yesterday I forgot disclaimers.**

**And glad you like it. Enjoy! **

**-Rachel :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy and everything else here except the plot. Yeah, I don't own Dimitri. *sobs* **

CHAPTER 2

I sat up from the bed – if that's what you could even call it, what with it being made of wood and had just one blanket thrown over it – and stifled a scream. I jumped up, fear running through me. Fear and confusion.

How had he seen me? How was that even _possible_? Lissa didn't even know when I was in her head, so how could he? Did he really know me that well, he could… sense when I was around?

That thought scared me – that someone knew me that well. _Forget it_, Rose. He left you. He didn't want you anymore. His loved _faded_.

Shaking my head, I slumped down against the wall, still breathing hard. Lissa and the others were trying to see me. But what if I didn't want to see them? I would see them at the trial, anyway. I didn't want to hurt Lissa anymore than I had to. A _clean break_, I thought.

"Rose?" a voice said. I jumped, my head snapping up.

It was Guardian Tomas. I jumped up and walked over to the bars. I was actually genuinely happy to see him. "Tomas," I greeted him.

He leaned in through the bars. "How are you doing?" he asked. I smiled sadly. What a stupid question. But I gave him an honest answer.

"Lissa and the others are hatching a plan to come and see me – and probably get me out. And to be honest, I'm surprised. I didn't expect to ever see you again." He nodded seriously, but he didn't have his Guardian mask on.

"Me either." He glanced at the Guardian standing in the doorway and lowered his voice. "I had to pull huge strings to get down here. I'll be a permanent guard for this cell now."

I frowned, looking up into his worried face. "You won't tell anyone about whatever Lissa and the others or Abe is doing, will you?"

I bit my lip. Shit. He was a friend, but he was still a Guardian. And his allegiance lies with the Court.

He shook his head. "No. I'm here to help you."

Well, there goes his allegiance.

"What?" I asked, shocked. I heard him perfectly, of course. But why would he help me?

"What you did… what you did _before_," he said quietly – I knew what he was talking about, when I had set off to save _him _– "I thought that was amazing. And I realised how much you care about your friends and you family, and the people you love."

I laugh humourlessly. "Yeah, well, that kind of backfired on me."

He went on, not acknowledging my comment, "And I know you did everything you could to help me, too."

I remembered. It seemed like years ago, but it had only been a couple of months. We both knew what each other were going through. He had helped me, and I had done everything I could to help him too. "And I owe you, Rose. What the Court is doing is wrong. Of course I think you're innocent, and you'd be surprised to know that most of the Guardians around here believe in you too."

Yeah, so why were they keeping me locked up here? I just nodded, staying silent for his sake.

"Abe wants to see you. He and Adrian want to talk to you about the trial."

I frowned. I didn't want anyone down here unless they had to be – but if it was Abe, then I guess that was okay. But Adrian? I didn't want to see him right now. He really cared about me – _loved_ me – and it killed me that I couldn't return that.

Not even when the man that I _did_ love didn't want anything to do with my anymore.

"Okay," I said slowly. "Is Abe here now?"

He nodded. "He's upstairs, waiting for my signal to come down here."

I grimaced. "Okay, I'll see him now."

As soon as I said that, Abe came down the stairs, looking as badass and business-like as ever. _Eavesdropper._

Tomas unlocked my cell door and sat down near the stairs, trying to give us some privacy.

"Hey old man," I greeted him.

"Rose." Abe put his hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes. His face was serious.

"How are you?" he asked me. Another stupid question. What was it with everyone today?

"Great," I said, sarcasm dripping from my words. "Fantastic, actually. I'm locked in here, they hardly ever feed me, Lissa is trying to break in and get me out, I'm going to trial, and I'm going to be executed. Never been better."

He didn't laugh. His voice was hard.

"_No. _Stop it, Rose. I told you before, and I'll say it again. That is _never_ going to happen. I won't allow it. Do you understand?"

He shook my shoulders, as if he was trying to shake some sense into me. Bit late for that.

"Do you understand?" he repeated, his eyes boring into mine.

I sighed. "Yes. Yes, I understand. And I already know about your _crazy scheme_." He looked a bit hurt at this. He'd get over it. "So what are you planning on doing?"

He sat me down and he explained it. "We're going to get you out of here. We're going to be on the run for a while, until we find the murderer. Then we'll prove it to the Court, and your case will be cleared. But you still have to go to the trial. If they decide you're guilty…well, we'll have to figure that out. But if we hold the case out longer, we may have a chance to break you out of here. We still have to plan everything. Some other Guardians are going to help."

It sounded so simple. But I knew it wasn't going to be. What if the trial didn't go to plan? The consequences were much higher than back at the Academy. I wouldn't get a detention – I would die. And what if we never found who did it? Would we be fugitives forever?

I couldn't do that to everyone. I couldn't do it to my father. I couldn't stop Eddie from being what he's always wanted to be. I couldn't get Adrian or Christian involved in this, and I could _never _ruin Lissa's chances to become Queen. I wasn't that selfish.

Which reminded me of something. I pulled the crumpled note from my pocket – the one that I had opened and reopened again and again, reading Tatiana's words until they were etched into my mind.

I handed it to Abe. He frowned, taking it from me.

"I was going to tell you about it sooner, but I didn't have a chance. It's from the Queen. And it helps – we need to find Lissa's sibling."

"Rose!" he gasped. "This…this can help clear your name. This is what we need."

I shook my head. "You can't show this at Court. If you do, it will ruin any slim chances Lissa may have becoming Queen."

I was right, and he knew it. If they knew – if they even had the slightest idea – the people against Lissa would surely try and stop the sibling being found. At all costs.

He sighed, handing the paper back to me. "Lissa wants to come and see you as soon as possible," he said, changing the subject.

"Just Lissa?" I raised my eyebrow.

He bit his lip. "No…" he finally said. "Adrian, Eddie and Christian as well. And… Dimitri."

My breath hitched. Dimitri…

"I can't…" I said, looking down. How could I face them? How could I face _him_? And there was no was in hell that they were going to come with me as fugitives.

"Rose," Abe warned. "If you won't see anyone else, at least see Lissa. She misses you, and she loves you. She just wants to see her best friend."

I missed her, too. "Okay," I gave in. "But just Lissa. No one else," I warned. He looked like he was about to argue, but I shot him a death glare, which effectively shut him up. I smiled to myself. I could make _the_ Abe Mazur – _Zmey_ – somewhat sacred. Oh, yes. I was amazing.

"Okay," he said finally, getting up to leave. "She'll come tomorrow. Don't worry Rose. You'll get out. I'll make sure of it. I'll fix this." And just like that, he turned and disappeared up the stairs, leaving me alone again, with just the almost non-existent company of the guardians.

"No," I whispered. "Some things _you_ can't even fix."

**Review? *puppy dog eyes* **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey people! The third chapter has arrived :D I'm sorry for any mistakes or spelling errors that might be in this chapter or were in my last ones, the uploader is STUFFED! Just so you know, I'm having a bit of an issue... I think I have writer's block :(. Even though I know the general direction of where this story if going (and yeah, its gonna be awesome :P) I'm stuck on the 4th chapter. So if you have any advice or suggestions please let me know! **

**xx Rach**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I still don't own Dimitri...**

CHAPTER 3

"Roza."

His voice was like music to my ears.

His strong arms were around me holding me close, protecting me from everything I was ever scared of. I looked up, meeting his eyes. They were deep, brown and endless – like I could dive into them and never reach the bottom.

His lips were just inches away from mine, and just then, I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me.

He leaned down and met my lips with a kiss, wrapping one arm around my waist and tangling the other in my hair. I sighed and pulled him closer, missing the way his lips felt on mine.

Then he pushed me away. "Dimitri?" I frowned. "What's wrong…?"

He shifted uncomfortably, and I noticed a crease on his forehead – not a good sign.

"Rose… I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. But I have to leave." I stared at him; the words seemed to be echoing around the room.

"I…What?"

"I can't – I _don't_ want to do this anymore. It's wrong," his eyes finally met mine. They weren't warm and loving anymore. They were distant and cold. Almost like a Strigoi….

I shook my head. What was he going on about? He loved me. Didn't he?

"But you love me," I argued, my frustration finally showing. Why did he keep doing this to me?

"No, I don't. You don't understand Rose," he ran his hand through his hair, obviously agitated. He took one last look into my eyes.

"Love fades. Mine has."

Those words were like a slap in the face, and I woke up, gasping.

Those words still stung_._ They cut deep into my chest, making it extremely hard to breathe. _Love fades, mine has. _I remember the cold look in his eyes – not in that stupid ass dream, but when he had told me at the Church – they were so unlike his usual soft, warm ones.

And at that moment, my world had shattered into a million pieces. After everything we had been through, all our fears and our joys, our tears and our kisses, he didn't love me.

Not anymore.

And that hurt…more than anything ever could.

A single tear slid down my check. And honestly, I didn't even care.

* * *

"Rose!" Tomas called from up the stairs. "Lissa's here!"

I had been thinking through Abe's plan and wondering how we could make a start on finding Lissa's sibling.

Lissa rushed down the stairs – nearly tripping over the last one – and flung her arms around me. "Rose!" she cried, hugging me tight. "I missed you," she whispered.

I hugged her back just as tight. "I missed you too, Liss. You have no idea."

It was so different being in Lissa's head to actually being _with_ Lissa. She lit up the whole room, and filled me with happiness. I forgot what that felt like.

When she pulled back, I saw that there were tears in her eyes. She hastily wiped them away, laughing.

I grinned at her, and it felt good to smile. I hadn't smiled since I had been locked up. Because, really, what the hell was there to smile about when you were locked in a cell?

She grinned back. "Oh my god, Rose. It's so good to see you! Christian and Adrian and Eddie wanted to come too, but Mr Mazur said that you didn't want to see them…?" It trailed off into a question. I was glad she didn't mention Dimitri, because I really wouldn't have known how to answer that.

"Yeah, I only really wanted to see you right now. I'll see them all soon, anyway," I said, lowering my voice because of the guardians outside – they might be in on the plan, like Tomas and Abe said, but I couldn't be sure - "if we're still breaking out of here."

She nodded, believing me. "We have to talk about some things before I have to go and meet Adrian."

I frowned. Adrian? What was she doing with Adrian?

She saw my concern, and laughed. "Oh…it's not what you think. Don't worry. Adrian and I practicing Spirit again. He's teaching me about dream walking."

"And Christian is okay with that?" I smirked.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I think he's over it."

I snorted. Not likely.

She made us both sit down, and she turned serious. "We have to talk…"

I knew what she was getting at, and I didn't like it. I really, _really _didn't feel like talking about my messed up life and all the shit in it. And there happened to be a lot of it, too.

She stared at me seriously, her sparkling eyes piercing mine.

"Fine," I sighed, defeated, throwing my hands up. "I'll talk – but I have to tell you something afterwards, it's important."

I had to tell her about Tatiana's letter. She deserved to know – it was _her_ sibling, after all.

"What happened with him, Rose? Why won't you see him? He's been begging to see you – he nearly broke down the door yesterday."

It didn't make sense. He didn't care about me anymore, but he wanted to see me? What was he trying to do, break me again?

So I told Lissa everything that happened. From the moment he was turned back into a Dhampir, to what had happened yesterday. When I told her about our conversation – or fight – in the Church, I almost cracked. _Almost_. But I didn't.

When I was done, Lissa had her hand over her mouth.

"I'm so sorry, Rose. Really, I am. I can't believe he did that…" she whispered. "I don't get why he would…. I'll talk to him, if you want."

I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Then I remembered what I had to tell her. I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket. I was surprised it was still in one piece.

"After Tatiana died, Ambrose gave me this note. I think you should read it," I handed it to her, and she took it, eyes wide.

"I…I have a sibling?" she gasped, looking up at me. I nodded. "So…if we can get out, we'll be looking for whoever Tatiana is talking about."

I nodded again. "Oh god. I can't believe…does anyone else know about this?"

"Just you…and Abe. He's going to try and look into it."

"Okay…. Well, wow." She ran her hands through her platinum blonde hair. "So, unless we find this sibling, I can't be Queen?"

I nodded. "And we have to find whoever this is as soon as possible. Otherwise…things are only going to get worse." By things getting worse, I meant me being executed, as well as this shocking political system continuing.

"Has A- Mr Mazur talked to you about our plan yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, he has." I replied dryly. "And I don't like it."

She groaned. "Rose, you're my best friend. There is no way I'm just going to sit here and watch this happen. I have to do something about it. And I _am_ coming with you."

Now it was my turn to groan. "No, Liss, you don't get it," I shook my head, exasperated. "I'm bringing you down. _All _of you. If you run away, you won't be Queen."

"What if I don't want to be Queen?" she hissed. "What if I don't _care_?"

I stared at her, shocked. "This means everything to you, doesn't it? I thought you wanted this."

She shook her head. "If the roles were reversed and I was the one locked up, accused of murder, would you not do anything about it?"

That wasn't fair. I would do everything to help her, and she knew it. "It's not the same. I wouldn't have anything to lose. You have everything at stake."

"No. You have us, and you have your family… and you want to be a Guardian. And you're one of the best – in the world."

I sighed. She would make a good Queen. Trying to argue with Lissa was like trying to talk to a damn brick wall…or hang around Christian without hearing a smart-ass comment. _Impossible. _

Seeing that I had finally been defeated, she grinned happily. "I have to go meet Adrian now," she got up and hugged me. "I'll come see you again as soon as I can. And I promise Rose; you're going to make it through this. I'll be here for you. I won't let anything happen to you," she said fiercely.

I smiled sadly. It was funny how I used to be the one saying that to her; that I would protect her. I should be the one saying that to Lissa. And now it was the other way around.

"See ya, Liss."

She stopped at the doorway, biting her lip. "Is…is there anything you want me to tell Dimitri?"

I felt a sharp pang in my chest. "Yes," I said, taking a deep breath.

"Tell him… tell him that he made his choice. And I've made mine. He'll know what it means."

**Reviews = me happy = faster updates! :) But the next chapter might not be up for a while cos as I said before, I have the dreaded writer's block. I'm doing my best and it'll be up ASAP. But I don't wanna just post a load of crap because I wanted it done, it'll stuff the whole story up. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Yo guys! Next chapter will be the last chapter of Rose in jail, I PROMISE! And then the next 25 or so chapters are all action ;)**

**I saw Step Up 3D on the weekend! It was awesome, go see it NOW! All I wanna do is dance now :) And Rick Malambri is a BABE :D I'll have him, and you can have Dimitri.**

**DISCLAIMER: All is owned by the incredible Richelle Mead, except the plot, of course.**

CHAPTER 4

I was only vaguely aware that I was dreaming.

Darkness surrounded me. It wasn't a cold, terrifying darkness; it was a peaceful darkness – the kind you could stay forever in because you felt safe and protected. I closed my eyes. This is what my life was like now. It was empty and dark – and I was alone.

And then I heard a voice behind me.

"Little Dhampir."

My eyes snapped open, and I found myself standing in the middle of a desert.

I turned around to see Adrian Ivashkov. He looked tired – like everyone seemed to be nowadays – and worn out. I realised that everyone was tired and stressed because of _me._ And I hated myself for it.

Masking my thoughts, I grinned, pulling him into a hug – shocking both of us. "Adrian!"

He was surprised at first, but then wrapped his arms around me and smirked. "Missed me, huh?"

I snorted, pulling back and smacking him playfully on his arm. "Don't get your hopes up, Ivashkov."

But he was right. I had missed him – much to my utter horror. The last time I had seen him was when I had been accused of the murder – unless you counted the time I was in Lissa's head – and it felt like months ago. I wondered why he hadn't visited me sooner. I was about to ask him, but I stopped myself. If Adrian hadn't visited me – and I knew he loved it – there had to be a good reason… and obviously a reason he didn't want me to know.

"A desert? Really Adrian?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't feeling very creative."

I laughed. And when was he _ever_ creative?

"As much as I know how you love visiting me," I said, folding my arms across my chest, "I know you probably came to tell me something."

He grinned. "Maybe I just wanted to see you."

I didn't answer, not really in the mood for his games.

He sighed. "Yeah, there is, actually. Abe wanted me to tell you that the trial is going to be tomorrow."

Shit. _Tomorrow_? Well, they really wanted to see me dead – and _soon_. "Well, crap," I muttered, biting my lip. "Does Abe know what he's doing then? How are we breaking out?"

"Don't worry – we've got it all sorted out. We're breaking you out after the trial. Guardian Tomas is going to help. We're driving to the airport and getting out of the country."

"Out of the country?" I asked, shocked. "Where?"

"Russia. Baia, actually."

I swear my heart stopped beating. Baia? But that was…

"Abe insisted that we start our search in Russia, because apparently that's where he has people working for him. And then Dimitri suggested we stayed with him in Baia. 'Least he could do for the Princess' is what he said."

Anger boiled inside of me. It was always about Lissa. Since he had been turned, he'd treated her like she was some sort of amazing goddess. He'd sworn to do anything for her, when he should be doing that for me. I hated feeling this way towards Lissa, but I couldn't help it. She was giving up so much by helping me. But sometimes, I was sick of always doing everything for someone else – all my life. Now we were going to break out to find _Lissa's_ sibling, so that _Lissa_ could become Queen and so that I can be _Lissa's_ guardian.

_They come first._ I was beginning to hate that mantra.

And we were going to the place I least wanted to go in the world. Of all the little, insignificant towns on the planet, we _had_ to go to Baia.

I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair. "Everyone's coming, aren't they?" I asked him quietly.

He nodded. "Except Eddie and Mia. They wanted to stay behind so that they could let you know what's going on at Court."

Relief washed through me. Eddie was staying. That was one less person's life that I could possibly ruin. He deserved to stay and be one of the best Guardians out there.

I looked up into Adrian's face. I felt so bad… I knew that he still had feelings for me. Even though Dimitri was back and he didn't want me anymore, I realised that I couldn't be with someone like Adrian – someone that loved me – when I didn't love them back. It was wrong.

I hugged him, and he complied. "Thank you Adrian…for everything."

He chuckled. "It's my pleasure Little Dhampir. You know I'd do anything for you."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't – I really wasn't capable of speaking right now. This wasn't love, or lust – or anything like that. This was just friendship, two people that cared about each other.

He sighed. "You're waking up. I'll see you around, Rose."

The dream faded, and I woke up, welcomed back to Earth with the morose, miserable looking cell ceiling.

And then, I was pulled into Lissa's head.

And she was pissed.

"_The only reason you're here today is because of Rose!" She sat across from Dimitri. He had a pained look on his face._

_S_omething hurt inside my chest. Seeing him in pain physically hurt me. I had no right to feel that way – but I did.

"_She did everything. Everything. She found Victor in Tarasov and broke him out of jail, and went all the way to Vegas, and helped me –"_

_Dimitri cut in. "You guys broke Victor out?" he had a look of utter disbelief and horror on his face. _

_She silently cussed. She hadn't meant to say that. _

"_That's got nothing to do with this. The point is, you say that you owe me everything, but you don't. You owe Rose."_

"_I – I can't. I can't face her," he whispered, shaking his head. "The things that I did to her… I can't get over something like that. I hurt her. And I promised her I wouldn't. I'm a monster."_

_Lissa watched him quietly. Compassion filled her, and she had the urge to reach out and touch him – to heal him – and take away his pain. But this wasn't the sort of pain she could heal. This wasn't a broken leg, or a bruise. This was emotional pain – the kind that she knew only one person could fix. Me._

Wait. What? Me? Was she nuts? How could I help Dimitri? Why would I? Why should I?

But I already knew the answer: because I love him.

_"Did Rose say anything about me when you went to see her?" _

_Lissa paused for what seemed like forever, not wanting to hurt him anymore than she had to. Finally, she spoke._

_"She said... she said that you made your choice, and she made hers. And that you would know what it meant." _

_He stayed silent, looking thoughtful. _

"_Dimitri," she whispered. "Did you… did you mean what you said to her? Do you really not love her anymore?" _

I held my breath, my heart thumping in my chest. I wondered why Lissa couldn't hear it. Dimitri slowly looked up at her. I couldn't make out the expression on his face.

"_I-" _

"ROSE!" a loud voice jolted me back into my own reality.

Guardian Tomas stood gripping the bars of my cell, a worried look on his face.

"Are you okay? You were just sitting there, staring into space…"

"Sorry…" I muttered.

He frowned, but slipped me a note. "This is for you – from Abe," he said, and turned and walked away.

I unfolded the note, to see a letter written in neat, classy handwriting scrawled across the paper.

_Be ready for tomorrow. I'll come and collect you to take you to the trial. Everyone will be there. I hope you know the plan._

Hell yeah, I knew the plan.

Nervousness and relief washed through me. Nervousness because of I'd be facing my fate tomorrow, but relief because I'd be getting out of this hellhole. Finally.

And then a voice sounded behind me.

"Roza."

My back stiffened as the scent of his aftershave hit me hard.

"What," I hissed, turning around, "are you doing here?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I finally finished this. It was a pain to write... you know how you know exactly what you wanna write, but you don't know how to write it? Anyways, Dimitri is in this chapter. Even though he is being an ass, he's still here :) Almost out of the court, hang in there guys! This is a longer chapter as well. **

**xx Rachel**

"What," I hissed, turning around, "are you doing here?"

And when I did turn to look at him, my tough Rose bravado faltered. I hadn't really seen him since that day the Guardians took me away – the day he had silently sworn to protect me; to never let anything happen to me.

Funny how things turned out.

And standing there right then, with him right before my eyes – wearing his ridiculous duster – I could almost convince myself that none of these terrible things ever happened.

No death.

No murder.

No hate.

No hurt.

It was like seeing him – seeing my life – for the first time, and he looked as though he was seeing his for the first time, too. A thousand memories flashed before my eyes – ones that I knew only he could trigger. I remembered when I first came to the Academy, how he had caught us and dragged us back to school. I remembered Victor's lust charm, and when he had caught me with Jesse. I remembered the night of the cabin, when we had finally given in to our feelings for each other. I remembered all our stolen kisses. And how he had protected me that day; and seen me in Lissa's head. But one memory jerked me back into reality. And as quickly as I lost my cover up, I found it again, and any emotion that I may have shown disappeared entirely.

"You shouldn't be here," I said coldly. The venom in my voice surprised me. But I had to do this.

He didn't say anything. He continued to stare, his deep eyes speaking legions. You could have cut the tension with a stake.

I wanted him to say something so badly. After what seemed like an eternity, he broke the silence.

"I came to see if you were okay."

_I came to see if you were okay._ Suddenly, I wanted to punch him. I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me. But, unfortunately, the only thing that would result in would be me breaking my hand. He was so lucky I was behind those bars.

"Oh, so you _care_ now?"

"I always cared, Roza."

Anger, hurt, and a lot of other things boiled within my chest. "How _dare_ you call me that, after everything you did! You have _no_ right to call me that again. My name is _Rose_."

He flinched, but otherwise showed no emotion. "Roz-Rose, just because… just because I don't love you anymore," the words cut deep into my chest, "doesn't mean that I don't care about you."

I stared at him, tears in my eyes. How could he do this to me? No. I wouldn't cry. Not in front of him. I was supposed to be _strong_.

"What's the point? It's only going to just hurt us both."

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm trying to help," he said, frustrated, running his hands through his hair.

"Cut the shit, Dimitri," I said harshly. "Are you deaf? Or are you just trying to be an ass? Cause you're doing a good job. Didn't you hear what Lissa said? You made your choice. And I sure as hell have made mine."

He didn't respond to the bit about him being an ass. What an asshole. "And what choice is that, Rose? Ignore everything for the rest of your life, sulking about how you didn't get your way?" I really, really wanted to punch him right then. How could he even say that?

"What are you," I yelled, "my _goddamn mother?_ Trust me, I _don't_ need another one of those."

"Janine is a good person, Rose. It wasn't her fault that she – and your father – weren't in your life. You should be more patient with her."

I was well and truly infuriated. "Don't turn this on me, Dimitri! And this has nothing to do with my parents. This has to do with _us_."

He flinched again. "I… I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," he murmured. "I should have been there, at your graduation…" "Really?" I asked, surprised. He straightened up. "As your mentor, of course. Any good mentor would have been there for their student." He emphasised the words _mentor_ and _student_.

But still, him wishing that he had been there for me when I left school still hit me hard. "It wasn't you fault. You couldn't have been there. Some things you can't control," I said softly.

He looked up, his eyes blazing. "This is just another reason – among many – why this we shouldn't be together. You should be with someone you can actually be there for you. Someone that you can rely on, to never let you down." He swallowed. "Someone like Adrian."

I couldn't believe my ears. Did he honestly want me to be with Adrian? And did he just say that Adrian was _reliable_? He knew that I knew he hated Adrian's guts. Yet, he still wasn't fazed by the idea of Adrian and I being together. "What if don't want to be with Adrian?"

"I'm sorry. But everything that happened… everything that happened _before_, it wasn't real. I can't pretend to love someone anymore."

I could feel my heart breaking in two. "Don't do this. Don't kill me. Just get out and get back to your pledge to protect Lissa," I snapped. It was petty, I know. But right now – petty or not – I honestly didn't give a shit.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, the debt that you can never repay? But you'll spend the rest of your life trying?" I quoted him.

Realisation hit him. "Does Lissa know that you're in her head all the time?"

_No, but I know you do_. But I didn't acknowledge him with an answer.

"If you really cared about me, you'd leave me alone. I don't want you here." I saw hurt flash briefly in his eyes, but it disappeared so quickly I thought I had just imagined it.

Great. Now I was seeing hallucinations.

I turned away, not wanting to have to look at him anymore. Because every second I did, my heart broke into more pieces that it was already in.

It was so quiet; I thought he may have turned around and actually left – if it wasn't for the sound of his steady breathing. God. Listen to yourself, Rose. You're listening to him _breathe_?

"You're right," he said finally. "I should get back to Lissa. She'll probably want to-" he stopped himself mid-sentence, realising what he was about to say.

I spun around, tears threatening to spill over. My voice was shaky. "Lissa sent you here, didn't she? She asked you to come see me, because you wouldn't…" I couldn't believe it. What had I been thinking? That he had actually come here because he wanted to? Because he _cared_? I was an idiot. An idiot for believing everything he ever said. I believed it, because I wanted it to be true. I wanted it to be true so, so much.

"I-" he started. I cut him off. "I can't _believe_ I actually…believed you!" I shouted at him, tears finally leaking down my cheeks. "How could you do this? I broke out of here, and I went to Russia. To your family. I broke Victor out of jail, and I went all the way to Vegas to bring you back. I went through hell, Dimitri. And I went through it for you."

"You shouldn't have," he said quietly.

"What? You didn't want to be a Dhampir again? You wanted to stay Strigoi?" He just continued to stare, a haunted look on his face. And then it hit me. "You…wanted to die?" I whispered.

"It would have been easier than this."

Dimitri would rather have died_. Died_. He would rather be dead than be with me. And I was sure that I would rather be dead, too.

"Sometimes I wish I was," I murmured. "Maybe I will be." My thoughts flashed to the trial.

"_No_. How can you say that, Roza?" he growled, leaning in through the bars. The sound sent shivers down my spine, wrapping around me like I remembered it used to. For once, he was showing true, honest passion. I died a little inside, every time he called me that name. Only because I knew that he would never mean it the way he did before. My tears were flowing freely now, running down my face.

I leant closer, my voice barely a whisper. "Please, Dimitri. Please tell me you didn't mean anything you said. Please tell me that you care," I pleaded. "Tell me you still love me."

We were so close. I grabbed the bars, staring into his eyes, silently pleading. His deep, brown eyes were staring back into mine, like they were searching for something. My hand brushed his, and I felt the old power and electricity surge between us. He jerked back, shocked, like he had just been burnt. I stared at the place his hand had been. I knew he had felt it too. There was no way on Earth someone could ignore something like that.

But when I looked back up, his face was hard and emotionless.

"People change, Rose. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go. I already told you – there is _nothing_ between you and me anymore."

'Then why did you come here?" I whispered.

"I honestly don't know."

And then he turned and left, leaving me alone again – the cell suddenly seeming dark and cold.

I slumped down against the wall, broken. I finally let out everything that I had been feeling, tears streaming down my face. I put my head in my hands, the pain in my chest the worst it had ever possibly been. I didn't know what I was feeling. I really need someone then, someone that cared. It could have been Lissa, Adrian, or even my mother.

But they weren't there.

That night, I cried myself to sleep – probably crying more than I ever had in my 18 years of living – my sobs echoing around the empty room.

* * *

I woke up, and it was obviously morning. How did I know?

Because blinding light was streaming though the window.

"Ah, shit. My eyes…" I groaned, falling out of the bed. The first thing I felt was pain. Not because I hadn't fallen on my back onto the stone floor – although that didn't exactly help – but because my head was killing me. And my eyes were sore as _hell_. What the fuck?

And then memories from what happened last night came crashing back to me. Dimitri.

_People change, Rose. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go._

I felt like crying again, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't have any tears left to cry. I got up, my head spinning. Today was the day of the trial.

Tomas came down the stairs. He looked at me sympathetically, and I realised he would have heard what happened last night. I blushed. I hated that - showing my weak side. It made me feel vulnerable, like a little child.

'Ah, you're awake. Abe will be coming to get you any minute."

He slid me some food, and I ate it quickly – not realising until now how hungry I was. "Thanks," I murmured.

He nodded, watching me eat. It wasn't creepy, or anything. He was probably just staring at my puffy, red eyes.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

I took a deep breath and masked my emotions. Guardian masks were actually really useful. "Yeah," I lied, smiling up at him. "I'm fine. Can't wait to get out of here," I gestured around the cell. He nodded, but I could tell he didn't buy it. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then, Abe came in.

"Rose," he said. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be, old man." Abe opened up the door and led me outside, heading for the Court. I faintly heard Tomas wish me good luck, as did some of the other Guardians that I passed on the way.

This was it. I was going to trial, to have my fate decided for me – my life resting in the palm of Abe's hand. And only three words were running through my mind.

_They execute traitors._

**Well, this chapter was kinda depressing :P But it's gotta get worse, before it gets better, right? Review and I'll love you forever! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here it is! Thank you so much for the reviews, they really make my day and inspire me to write another chapter for you guys! Thanks everyone for being patient; HUGE thank you to my beta; and an apology to Dimka24. If you have any ideas for my story please let me know, I'm kinda lost as to what I should do with the next chapters. **

**xx Rachel**

**DISCLAIMER: All is owned by the lovely Richelle Mead. No infringement or copyright intended. **

I don't know why I expected the Court Room to be quiet when I got there. Because it definitely wasn't.

The room was full of people talking, their heads down low, murmuring to each other. Everyone was talking – about me, of course – except the Guardians that were positioned all around the room, their hands behind their backs and doing that seeing-without-really-seeing thing.

Their faces were stoic and expressionless, but I could tell by their eyes they were anticipating this just as much as the Moroi were. I saw Dimitri standing among them, staring straight ahead. My breath caught, but I mentally slapped myself and kept on walking. Good to see that they had given him back the right to be a Guardian.

As Abe lead me to the centre of the Court Room, I received more whispers and stares as they realised I was finally here.

"It's about time they held the trial. Since her death, everything's been chaotic and unorganised," a brown haired Moroi woman murmured to her friend sitting beside her. "What do you think? Do you think she really murdered the Queen?"

"It's not my opinion that matters, is it? Whether she's guilty or not, she's going to be remembered for this. She may as well just let them lock her up for good."

The brown haired woman considered this. "Yes, but what about the Princess? She'll have something to do with this, no doubt."

The other one shook her head. "Princess or not, she can't do anything about it. Remember the law? You can't be on the Council – let alone be Queen – unless you have another member of your family alive. And she's the last Dragomir."

I tensed, but pretended that I didn't hear what they said. I held my head high, refusing to be seen as weak, and took my seat beside Abe. I scanned the room, searching for someone. Finally I met Lissa's pale green eyes – eyes that were filled with anxiety and worry. She held Christian's hand, who was trying to comfort her. Adrian sat on the other side of Lissa, a crease on his forehead and his mouth turned down into a frown. He met my gaze and mouthed _Good luck, Little Dhampir_. I smiled grimly at them, and turned away.

_Good luck, Rose, _I heard Lissa's voice in my head. It felt strange – probably because I had been blocking her while I was in jail. I nodded slightly, showing her I heard.

There were eleven people seated around the Council table, representing their Royal family name. I knew there should be twelve – and Lissa should be sitting there with them – but there was nothing I could do about that now.

The judge cleared her throat – the room instantly going quiet. I could literally feel the anticipation wrapping around me – it was suffocating.

"I hope you know what you're doing," I whispered to Abe.

"Don't worry. I'm a very influential person, Rose." I sighed, sitting back in my chair. Even I knew influence alone wasn't enough to get us out of this.

"The trial has begun." Her shrill voice rang through the room, holding clear power and authority. "Rosemarie Hathaway, you are being charged for the murder of Queen Tatiana. Please state you case."

I stared back at her defiantly. "I plead not guilty."

Her eyes narrowed. Obviously, she didn't believe me. Great, a biased judge. Was the world against me? "Very well," she said, turning to a blonde haired woman. I recognised her as a Conta. I never liked them anyway. "Prosecutor?"

The Conta woman nodded eagerly, and stood up. "Rosemarie Hathaway is guilty. We have proof."

I opened my mouth to protest, already angry. Abe kicked me in the shin, probably trying to kick some sense into me. Too bad. Someone should have done that years ago.

Amelia Conta ignored me, turning to the judge. "The stake that was used to kill the Queen – it belongs to Miss Hathaway." Irritation shot through me as I realised they had stripped me of my Guardian title. I was _Guardian_ Hathaway, not Miss Hathaway. I still deserved to be addressed as what I was. It was the only thing I had left.

Abe stood up, snorting. "That doesn't prove anything. It may belong to Rose, but it doesn't mean that she actually did it. Someone could have stolen it from her." Abe was right. Someone did steal it, because I rightfully remember putting it in the bottom drawer of my room – where I keep all my Guardian related things.

"And you can prove that?" the judge eyed him sceptically. "Do you have proof that someone stole it?"

Abe sat down, a pissed off look plastered on his face. The judge nodded, as if she was saying, _I thought so._

"It also has Rosemarie's fingerprints on it, and no one else's," Amelia continued.

Wait, how did they know what my fingerprints looked like?

"How do you know what Rose's fingerprints look like?" Abe frowned, voicing my exact thoughts.

"We have her file right here," she replied, waving a thick yellow folder full of papers in the air. "Every little bit of information we need to know about Miss Hathaway is in here – including her fingerprints. It also states she regularly argued with the Queen - even calling her a sanctimonious bitch."

That triggered memories that seemed like centuries ago, and I almost smiled. And then I realised what she said.

"Hey!" I stood up from my seat, pointing an accusing finger at Amelia. "What do you mean, my file? You have _no_ right –"

"Sit down, Miss Hathaway," the judge cut me off, slamming down her hammer like it was some sort of symbol of authority – never mind that it was. I scowled and opened my mouth to tell her where she should slam her hammer next – which was on her on her own head – but Abe shot me a menacing glare, probably trying to tell me to shut up while I still could. I closed my mouth again and sat down fuming and feeling like someone in pre-school. But he was right…I couldn't blow my chances like that – if I had any in the first place.

Abe stood calmly. "It's simple. The murderer wore gloves. Not even a human would be stupid enough not to."

Amelia glared at him. "We do not have evidence of this either, Mr Mazur. All this proof shows is that the stake found in Queen Tatiana's chest belongs to Miss Hathaway, and has her fingerprints on it."

"We have an alibi," Abe looked smug, gesturing towards Adrian.

I bit my lip nervously, glancing at him. And he looked _calm_. He came and stood beside me, and winked. "Don't worry, Little Dhampir. We've got this sorted."

The judge turned to Adrian, eyebrows raised. "You were with Miss Hathaway at the time?"

Adrian nodded. "Yes, I was. I was in her room with her when it happened."

She turned to me. "Is this true? Were you with Lord Ivashkov that night?"

"Yes, I was," I replied carefully.

"Well," she murmured, "this changes things."

"It doesn't change anything!" shrieked Amelia, shooting me a death glare. "They could both be in on this, for all we know."

"They are _not_," snapped Abe. "An alibi is an alibi, no matter what rules you seem to be making up for yourself, Amelia. Adrian was with Rose at the time of the incident. In her room, no less. Therefore, Rose couldn't have possibly murdered her."

She smirked. "And you saw Lord Ivashkov go to Miss Hathaway's room?"

Damn. Adrian and I both frowned, and Abe ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. This Amelia woman was really starting to piss me off. I put my head in my hands and sighed. This couldn't be going any worse. I was sure that the judge would get fed up with the back and forth arguing that seemed to be going on, and just call it quits and prove me guilty.

"_I_ did."

Except it wasn't Abe who said that. It was Dimitri.

I turned around, and saw him. Dimitri had left his position near the wall, and was now standing behind me. Shock registered on everyone's faces. _His_ face was expressionless; and he had his Guardian mask on. He ignored everyone and looked confidently at the judge – who was staring at him in disbelief.

"Excuse me?" she asked incredulously.

"I saw him. I saw Lord Ivashkov go to Rose's room. She's telling the truth."

"And who are you?"

"Dimitri Belikov."

My heart raced inside my chest. He had seen us that night? Why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he stopped Adrian? I silently thanked God that he hadn't, or I would be screwed – with no alibi whatsoever. But wouldn't he have guessed what we would have done – what we _did_ do? A hundred questions ran through my mind, but I kept a straight face. Why was he doing this…helping me? Confusion and anger bubbled inside of me, like the darkness I took from Lissa. I was sick of this. He wanted to protect me from the Guardians, and then he didn't care. He came to see me in jail, and then told me to stay away and that he didn't love me anymore. Now he was standing up for me and trying to get me out of this?

With that, he turned and walked away, back to the other Guardians who were looking at him like he was nuts – just like everyone else in the room.

"Do you have anything else to say, Miss Hathaway?"

"Yeah, actually, I do," I jumped up angrily. "Do you really think I did this? Think about it. One morning, you find the Queen dead with the stake still left in her chest. I'm one of the best Guardians here. I didn't hate the Queen, and even if I did – and I was crazy enough to want to murder her – I wouldn't have done it like that. The stake was still in her _chest, _goddamn it! I was framed. Someone who wanted the Queen dead set me up. Someone who disagreed with her views. Someone on the inside, maybe even someone here today."

This caused some people to start whisper quietly to each other, as they realised that the murderer – if not me – was probably in this room among us. Whoever had done it must have really hated her. Or really hated _me_.

Or maybe, they may have wanted Lissa to become Queen. I didn't say this out loud though, or all hell would have broken loose.

"I've heard enough," the judge snapped. "We'll discuss the decision." And with that, she turned to the Council. I watched, feeling helpless, as they talked among themselves - deciding if I was guilty or not.

_Whether I would live or die._

My breath hitched in my throat as I waited for the judge to speak. This was it.

My heart pounded as she made her decision. She slammed the hammer down, sealing my fate.

"This case is closed. The decision has been made. Murder of the Queen is the highest form of treason, and the offender will be punished – with death."


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay! I've done it! And yes, to the person who was confused about the end of last chapter, Rose just got proven guilty. This chapter was supposed to go way further into the story, but I cut it off when I realised how long it was. An epic 3,739 words! That's probably not much... but its still longer than the others. Don't worry, this is a Dimitri x Rose story. And GUESS WHAT? Last Sacrifice comes out in... 3 MONTHS! *jumps up and down squealing***

** Enjoy :)**

**- Rachel**

"_This case is closed. The decision has been made. Murder of the Queen is the highest form of treason, and the offender will be punished – with death."_

And then chaos broke out.

People were out of their seat, yelling and shouting – whether at the judge, each other, or me, I didn't know. The Court Room turned from an organized, formal meeting, to a full-blown riot. I couldn't see past the angry bodies around me.

"Stay here," Abe murmured. "Whatever you do, do _not _move." I nodded obediently as he disappeared into the crowd. As soon I lost sight of him, I immediately jumped up and made my way through the sea of people – no one noticing I had left. If Abe really thought I would listen to him, he was an idiot.

I had to get out of here. If I didn't, I was going to die.

There were no more ifs or maybes. It was confirmed now. Surprisingly, I felt calm. Maybe during life and death situations like this, my Guardian instincts kicked in.

I searched for an exit, but I could barely see anything. I heard Lissa's desperate cries in my head, trying to find where I was. I tried to ignore her, pushing her presence to the back of my mind. I couldn't let her find me. If she did, she would surely follow.

I faintly heard someone shouting my name; yelling at me to come back. But the sound was drowned out by the noise echoing around the huge room, and I put my head down and pushed through the mass of bodies faster, ignoring that too.

And then a strong, tan arm reached out and grabbed me, pulling me behind a table.

I stifled a scream – not that it would have mattered. Nobody would have heard me in the midst of all the shouts and roars. I kicked out, trying to get away. I refused to be taken away – I wouldn't let them. The arm tightened around my body, trying to hold me still. I wasn't going to give up. "Let go of me!" I hissed, elbowing whoever it was in the stomach. I heard them grunt, and they released their grip slightly. And that was all it took to allow me to spin around and punch them square in the jaw – knocking them out cold. But I stopped, just before my fist connected with their face. My arm fell back, and my eyes widened in disbelief. I met his deep, hazel eyes. It wasn't one of the Royal Guards at all.

"Ambrose?"

He smiled grimly. "Hello Rose."

It felt like so long since I had seen him last. The day he had given me that note – the note that changed everything. I faintly remembered him taking Lissa and me to see his aunt again; the crazy one who could predict your future by looking at cards. Unfortunately, my future hadn't been as happy as Lissa's. Even though the memory was faint, what she had told me was etched into my mind – impossible to forget.

And then it occurred to me.

Ambrose had been close to the Queen. I swallowed my disgust. _A friend with benefits. _And if she died, and I was being charged guilty of her murder, wouldn't Ambrose want nothing more than for me to get what he thought I deserved? Maybe he was going to turn me in.

I made up my mind, and turned to make a run for it. "Rose!" he called. He grabbed my arm, and I turned and gave a roundhouse kick. To my utter shock, I didn't knock him off his feet like it was supposed to. Actually, it didn't even hit him at all. I thrashed around, but he pinned my hands behind my back, and I winced. "Rose, stop!" I ignored him, trying to get a better angle so I could kick out again.

"Rose," he voice was calm and careful, like he was trying to soothe a rabid animal. "Stop. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm trying to help." His hold on me actually hurt.

I studied his face, and all I saw in his eyes was truthfulness and concern – for me. I frowned, but my body sagged in defeat and I stopped struggling. As soon as he realized this, he immediately let go. I had a strange sense of déjà vu – and then I remembered nearly the exact same thing happening with Dimitri, that night in the cabin. But I pushed those thoughts away, and crossed my arms over my chest.

"How the hell did you just stop me?" I asked incredulously.

He raised his eyebrow. _Damn_. He could do it, too. But it wasn't nearly as sexy as when Dimitri did it…

I shook my head. _Focus, Rose_. "How did you stop me from getting away? How did you dodge that kick?" Nobody could dodge that kick. Except the man who taught me how to do it. He chuckled softly. "It's what I'm trained to do."

And then it hit me.

How could I not realize? Was I really that ignorant? After all this time, it took me this long – and for him to actually tell me – to realize what he told me before was a lie. My mind wandered back to when Lissa had taken me to that spa at Court – to give me a break and so we could spend some time with each other. He had given me that massage, and I remembered wondering why he was a male Dhampir and yet not a Guardian. He had simply told me that just because you're a Dhampir, doesn't mean you have to be what is expected of you, and that he had chosen a alternative life.

In other words, a blood whore.

Being stupid and naïve, I assumed that this was the truth, and he would really disgrace himself – and the whole Dhampir race – that way. But now that I really thought about it, I couldn't believe I had been so oblivious. His toned and extremely muscled body, his cover up story, the fact he was 'close' to the Queen… and his reflexes just then. Only the best of the best had reflexes like that. It all made sense now.

He was a Guardian.

And not just any Guardian; the Queen's own, personal, secret Guardian no one knew about – until now.

"You were her Guardian, weren't you?"

He nodded sadly. "Yes, I was."

"Why aren't you going to turn me in?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Because," he replied, "I know you didn't do it. Everyone knows you didn't do it. What happened to her…it was terrible. But it's not right for the Court to do this. You need to get out, now. If you don't, you'll die. And I can't let that happen – not to another innocent person."

I swallowed hard. "Do you know who may have done it?"

He shook his head. "_You _need to find that out, Rose. If you don't, there will be much more terrible things going on at Court than this," he gestured around us at the panic and chaos. "Please. You have to find out…for me. For everyone."

I nodded. "That's what I'm going to do."

He looked relieved. "Thank you, Rose. You and Tatiana may have had different views, but she really was a good person."

I smiled. Yeah, we sure did have different views. I never thought I would say this, but he was right. It didn't mean that she was bad. "I promise. And thank you too, Ambrose. I…I honestly don't know if I would have been able to get out of this if it wasn't for you."

He nodded. "Good luck," he said quietly, before slipping back into the crowd.

_ROSE! _Lissa's voice sounded in my head. I jumped so high; I could have hit the roof. Scowling, I turned to see her across the room, waving at me.

_Sorry, _she apologised. _I had to get your attention somehow. It's so loud in here. Anyway, we need to get out of here._

I rolled my eyes at her, even though I knew she probably wouldn't be able to see.

_Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me, Rose! _She chastised. I suppressed a laugh. _Meet me outside the cells,_now.

I nodded, and turned away, heading for the exit. On my way, I ran in to an angry Abe.

"Rose! I thought I told you to sta- never mind. Of course you didn't listen. Come on, we have to go." We made our way to the doors, pushing past everyone. They were still yelling at the top of their lungs, and didn't even notice me. The Guardians at the wall were not there anymore – to my great relief. They were probably trying to get the Court back in order – which obviously wasn't working. Poor buggers.

We slipped out and hurried to the jail, the cool night breeze refreshing. When we got there, I gasped. Everyone was here. Lissa, Christian, Adrian, Eddie, Mia, Guardian Tomas, my mother, Dimitri, and to my great annoyance, even Tasha – who had this stupid grin plastered on her face. My heart ached as I saw Dimitri watching me silently. But I put on my brave face, and tried to look happy. Well, as happy as an 18-year-old girl breaking out of Court because she was accused of murdering the Queen and who also had her heart torn into pieces could be.

"You honestly didn't think that we would let you get on a plane to Russia without even saying goodbye, did you? I thought you knew us better than that, Hathaway," Eddie grinned.

I laughed. "Thanks, Eddie. You are going to be one kick-ass Guardian. The best here," I hugged him. He laughed, and hugged me back. "I'll be coming back. I don't know when, but I will. You won't be getting rid of me that easily," I joked.

"Be careful, Rose. And you better come back."

I ruffled his hair. I really was going to miss him. He deserved to be the best – more than anyone I knew. He had gone through some really tough times, what with his best friend Mason dying. I don't know how I would manage if Lissa was killed. Hell, I probably wouldn't. But he pulled through.

I turned to Mia. Although we hadn't exactly hit it off from the start, she had actually become a good friend. I smiled at her. "I'm going to miss you, Mia. Don't stop practicing fighting. Oh, and look after Eddie for me."

She grinned back. "I'll miss you too, Rose. And I really don't think Eddie needs anyone to look after him. He's a big boy now."

Everyone laughed, and Eddie looked embarrassed. I turned to Tomas. He smiled slightly; a glint of sadness in his eyes. Despite the fact we hadn't known each other very long, I still felt like I owed his so much. And I did. He had been there when no one else could help me, and was probably the only one here that could even begin to understand what I went through. I felt a twinge of guilt and sadness for him, because he probably wouldn't ever get to see Ms. Karp again. And yet, he still helped me escape Court, even though there was nothing in it for him.

"Thanks Tomas... for everything." He seemed to understand what I was trying to say. "I owe you so much."

"Like I said, _I'm _the one that owes _you_. You made me realize how important friends and family are."

"Take care," I whispered, so only he could hear.

I turned towards my mother, biting my lip. I really didn't know how to feel towards her. "Well…mum. I really wish we could have gotten to know each other better, but –"

She cut me off. "Don't be ridiculous, Rose. Do you really think that I would just abandon you when I haven't even been here for most of your life? I'm not that bad."

I stared at her, speechless. My mother _wanted _to be in my life?

I finally found my voice. "So…you're coming?"

She smiled. "Yes, of course I'm coming." I pulled her into a hug – shocking us both.

What the hell? I really hoped I wasn't turning into a softie. "But…what about your job?" I frowned. "You work really hard. You always say that being a Guardian means everything to you…"

"Oh. Well, actually, I'll still be a Guardian. I'm going to be guarding Abe." My eyes widened, and I glanced at Abe. He had his hands in his pockets, and he gave me a small shrug. I wondered if they were getting back together… Okay. Eww. I really hoped not.

Internally groaning, I turned to Tasha. Why was she even here? She didn't care about me. She probably just came to piss me off. "Well, I guess I'll see you around, Tasha."_Not._

She giggled. Yes, giggled. "Actually, I'm coming too! Christian's going, so I though I'd tag along. There's nothing here for me to do anyway. Oh, and Dimka's going too," she added, resting a hand on Dimitri's arm. I stiffened, my hand clenching as I glared at her hand on him – as if I could burn it with my eyes.

I looked back up at her. "What?" I gritted my teeth.

"I want to help as much as possible," she replied. If she wanted to help, she could._By staying here._Away from me, and away from him. All I wanted to do was punch her. That would wipe that stupid grin off her face. I shot Lissa glare. She looked slightly hurt. _What? I'm sorry, Rose. It wasn't up to me. Christian insisted…_

Adrian put a hand on my shoulder; obviously realizing Tasha was about to get her jaw broken. I sighed. "I think we better be going, Little Dhampir."

"Yes, they'll probably realise we're gone soon," Abe agreed. After everyone said their goodbyes, Adrian, my mother, Abe, Lissa, Christian, Tasha, Dimitri and I hurried to the gates. There were two guardians standing there. Shit. I looked at Abe. "We're here to get picked up to go to the airport," he said calmly. They simply nodded, and we slipped through. I frowned. I opened my mouth to ask him something, but he shook his head. I shot him a look, but decided to leave it.

There were two cars, and we split up. And, of course, I ended up going with Dimitri, Tasha and Adrian. I had to sit between Adrian and Dimitri, too. Our legs were touching, and it was impossible to ignore the feeling it was sending up my body. It was almost intoxicating being so close to him again. I shifted uncomfortably, and pointedly ignored him. He was staring straight ahead. We sat in silence as Dimitri and Tasha talked. Adrian tried to include me in the conversation and every so often I nodded or agreed with him – and he eventually gave up. Normally I would be chatting away, but right now I was at my all time low.

The ride was long and boring, and I felt my eyes slowly close.

When I woke up, all I could smell was Dimitri's scent. He had his arms wrapped around me, and I saw he was asleep too, his head resting against mine. I realized I had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Momentarily forgetting everything, I closed my eyes again and snuggled closer to him, and his arms tightened around me protectively. I sighed into his chest. It felt so…right. Like we were made to hold each other.

Then I heard a voice. Who else was here?

"Do you think we should wake them up?" I recognized the voice as Lissa's.

"Oh, yeah. Or we'll miss the plane." What plane? And what was Christian doing here?

"They look so cute," she whispered back. And then I heard Adrian's voice. "Little Dhampir, wake up. We're at the airport."

Suddenly, I realised where I was; what was going on. My eyes flashed open. I immediately looked down at the arm still around my waist. Dimitri was still asleep.

"Dimitri! Wake up," I hissed. He just mumbled something and pulled me closer. My cheeks flushed, and I cursed at myself. His touch felt amazing…

Seeing everyone outside the car watching us curiously was kind of like a bucket of ice-cold water on my face. I slapped his arm – hard. His eyes flew open. He looked down at me. When he realized he was holding me, he let go immediately. We were out of the car in a flash, trying to avoid each other. Adrian was glaring at him.

When we boarded the plane, everyone was sitting in pairs. I groaned. And to my absolute fury, I saw Tasha sitting with Dimitri. They were talking to each other quietly, heads close together. All I felt was hurt. A feeling I knew I shouldn't be feeling. But I was. When I passed him, he stopped talking and looked up – and my eyes met his gorgeous, deep brown ones. But I quickly looked away, and took my seat behind them – next to Adrian.

"Hey," I murmured.

"Hey, Rose."

I turned to him, surprised.

"What?" he asked.

"You didn't call me Little Dhampir."

He laughed. "Okay, then. Hi Little Dhampir."

I groaned, and he just laughed again. As the plane took off, I remembered the time back at the Academy, when I had seen all those ghosts. I felt relieved now – I had learnt to block them out a while ago. I turned back to Adrian, and saw that he was watching me with an amused expression on his face. I scowled at him. "What?" I demanded. He just shook his head and smiled.

It was then that I felt I should probably talk to him – about us.

"Hey," I said softly. "I think…we should talk."

He just looked at me. "About what?"

I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable. "I just… I don't really know where we stand right now."

Realisation flashed in his eyes. "Oh," was all he said.

Guilt ran through me. He knew what I wanted to say. "I just…I really care about you, Adrian. You were there for me when I had no one. When I was a mess. I would probably have gone insane if you hadn't been there for me. You mean a lot to me."

He nodded. "But I'm not _him_, right? Belikov."

I lowered my voice, suddenly realizing that he was sitting right in front of us, and probably heard his name. "This isn't about him," I lied. Of course it was about him. It was always about him. Everything in my world was about Dimitri. He was the centre of my universe. And it was hard, when the very reason for existing didn't want anything to do with you. "This is about us."

Silence.

"I really tried, Adrian. And it was great – while it lasted. You really are an amazing person."

And then he did something I really didn't expect.

He leant forward and kissed me.

And I suddenly felt myself kiss him back. It was short, and probably the sweetest kiss we had ever shared. I also knew it would be our last. He seemed to realize this too. I tried so hard to get lost in the moment, but I couldn't. It would never be enough. I didn't feel anything – I just felt empty. I wished with all my being that it wasn't, but it was. With Adrian and me, it was like tiny sparks. But with me and Dimitri, it was so much more than that. It was bigger than fireworks. We were like a house on fire; never being able to get enough of each other. Too bad we would never be doing any of that ever again.

We both pulled away, and I felt tears in my eyes.

"Rose…don't cry. You did what you promised. You tried. You gave us a go. That was all I asked for." I could see how hurt he was, even though he tried to cover it up – and he was being so nice about it.

"I meant what I said. You're an incredible person. Someday, you'll find a girl who deserves you."

He sat back in his seat. "I'll always care about you, Little Dhampir." I nodded. "I know."

And with that, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Rose," a voice woke me up. Someone shook my shoulder gently. I groaned. I opened my eyes to see Adrian smirking at me. "All you do is sleep." I slapped his arm. "I do not," I retorted. He laughed, and I yawned.

"Come on, let's go. We're here," he said, standing up.

I looked out the little window. He was right. We were here, in Russia.

**Love it? Hate it? I wanna know!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm really sorry this took so long. I know you guys are probably getting pretty annoyed, but it's hard to constantly update regularly. I've been SO busy! And when I wasn't busy, I seemed to be in a bad mood and when I tried to write this everyone ended up dying in a car crash on the way to the hotel. So… I decided it was best not to publish that, and start again. **

**Wow, do you guys even read my stupid A/Ns? I just ramble. And ramble. And ramble… Oh, but you might wanna read my bottom A/N about DPOV – which contains important rambling.**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy =) Oh, and I'm loving your reviews guys! They make me HAPPY =) They're the reason I am writing. THANKYOU Dimka24, and my beta!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything except the plot. (And soon I will own my own character! Mwuahaha! But you won't find out about him until later…) All belongs to Richelle Mead. **

CHAPTER 8

Way back when I was still at the Academy – which seemed like a lifetime ago – Dimitri and I had talked about his family, and his home. Those were memories that I never wanted to lose, memories of when we could be around each other without hiding something, without having to put on act – to have to pretend.

When we were equals.

Before I set off on my mission to kill him, I had the idea that Russia was an Arctic wasteland stuck in my head. So I was pretty surprised when I arrived there.

It was nothing at all like Antarctica, with ice and penguins and all that. In fact, it actually wasn't that different to America. And yet, I was still surprised when we landed in St. Petersburg. The idea that other countries were also out there in the world was still trying to get through my thick head.

Not that I was admitting anything.

Nevertheless, we were in Russia, soon to go to Baia. Where – coincidentally – Dimitri's family lived. I actually missed them. Growing up, the closest I had ever had to family was Lissa. I hadn't had parents growing up - my mother and father had only just recently decided to get involved in my life. Olena had been so kind to me when I had nowhere to go. Yeva was kind of creepy, but she helped me finish what I came to do, and I guess she meant well. Karolina was nice, but I hadn't really gotten to know Sonya very well. I really liked Viktoria – she reminded me so much of when I was in high school – though I hadn't exactly left on good terms with her.

But I couldn't be around them without being around _him_. I didn't even know why he was coming with us. This has nothing to do with him.

Oh, right. Of course I knew why he was coming with us: _Lissa._

Since Lissa and I had talked, she had kind of backed off with her protectiveness – if that's what you could even call it – over Dimitri. It was more like she was his mother. When she changed Dimitri back into a Dhampir, she said that they had experienced a connection – not a bond, like between her and I – but it had apparently 'changed everything'. Now she felt she had to protect him and help him recover. I talked to her and she sympathised with me and even tried to talk to him about it, but if the positions were the other way around, I knew I would have done more to help. I was her best friend. And she didn't even know him – at least, not the way she thought she did. She knew him as Guardian Belikov, not Dimitri.

And to top it all off, there was only one guy that really cared about me. And I just broke up with him.

I really was starting to wonder whether my life was destined for doom. At least, in the department of men.

"Rose, wait up," Lissa called. I pretended I couldn't hear her, and pushed harder through the line of shuffling people. I really didn't want to talk to anyone – let alone her – right now. But, of course, the people in front of me couldn't have been walking any slower. Lissa caught up to me, much to my irritation. "Hey," she panted, breathless.

"Hi," I muttered, glaring straight ahead. I knew I shouldn't be taking my foul mood out on her, but I couldn't control it. I felt a trickle of darkness inside of me, lingering in the shadows. The whole darkness issue had been getting worse – she had been stressing out about me being stressed out, which just made me even more stressed because I could suddenly try and rip someone's head off at anytime if enough of the darkness was built up inside me.

She frowned. "Rose? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No," I snapped. "Do you _really_ think that I'm okay?"

Her eyes widened, hurt and shock rushing through the bond. I immediately felt guilty. "Rose…I'm sorry. I just –"

I turned to look at her, sighing. She really was worried about me. None of this was her fault – I brought it all on myself. And now I was being a bitch about it. I already lost one part of me when I lost Dimitri, and if I lost Lissa…

"No. _I'm_ sorry, Liss…for everything. For snapping at you just then, for only thinking about myself lately, and for being a crappy friend. You don't have to forgive me...I know I wouldn't."

"Rose…what's going on? Really? I let you into _my_ head. Please, just let me know what you're thinking. Is everything alright?"

"No, not really. It's half left."

She gave me a weird look. Oh god. I can't believe I just said that. My jokes were starting to get nearly as bad Christians.

"Um…but don't worry about me. I'm sorry for being an ass. I just have a lot to deal with… but that's still no excuse."

She stared at me for a while, searching my face. It was times like this when she wished she could read _my_ mind. Finally concluding I was telling the truth, she sighed, running her fingers through her waist length blonde hair – desperately trying to fix her already perfect locks.

"Okay. But you have to promise to tell me when something's up. I want to know. I want to help as much as I can," she said, determination strong in her voice.

I smiled at her. "I know. I promise I'll tell you if anything happens."

Empty promises...

"Is it about him? D-"

"No," I cut her off, my smile vanishing like it had been whipped away by the wind. "Of course not."

She frowned. "You sure you're okay? What about Adrian…"

I grimaced. "You saw?"

"Yeah, I did," she said quietly. "You did the right thing, you know."

We were almost out of the airport now. Everyone was waiting outside, and Abe was calling someone 'in the business' to pick us up. Apparently, taxis weren't good enough for him.

Lissa pulled me into a hug. "I'm here for you, Rose," she whispered. "You've always been there for me. I think it's time I do something back."

I smiled. "And I'll always be here for you, too." I knew that was a promise I could keep. "So, do you know what the plan is? What are we doing?" I changed the subject. She noticed, but was nice enough to drop it.

"Oh, yeah. Your parents are going to head off straight away and go to Mark and Oksana's house. There's not enough room at the Belikov's to fit us all. Everyone else has to stay at a hotel for the night, and we'll be going tomorrow morning."

"Nice of him to tell me," I muttered.

She laughed. "You were asleep."

"What is it with everyone?" I complained. "You guys all act like all I ever do it sleep." Lissa grinned, and continued staring at me. "Hey!" I pretended to act hurt. She just shook her head and laughed, slipping into the limo.

Nothing but the best for Abe Mazur.

"Rose," Abe stopped me, just before I got in. "Your mother and I are going to leave early to go to Baia. We're staying at Mark and Oksana's."

"I know," I nodded.

"Okay," he patted me on the shoulder. "You okay? There's a lot going on."

What was it with everyone asking me if I was okay? As much as I appreciated their concern, I didn't like being looked after. I hated being treated like a child – I was an adult now. A Guardian, too. Even if I wasn't officially assigned by the Court to guard Lissa, I still considered myself her sanctioned Guardian, whether they liked it or not.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, dad."

It wasn't until he had gotten into the other car and driven off, when I realised what had just come out of my mouth – I just called Abe my father. I hoped he hadn't noticed. Even though he had helped me a lot, I didn't want him to think that it was acceptable to walk back into my life after 18 years and all was forgiven.

I purposefully sat next to Lissa, avoiding Dimitri at all costs. I didn't want a replay of what happened on the way to the airport. Of course, he was sitting next to Tasha. That woman was infuriating me more and more every time I saw her.

Apparently, the hotel was somewhere on the outskirts of the city, and it was going to be an hour's drive. We sat in silence for a while, and I could feel Dimitri's eyes on me – his intense gaze burning my skin. But when I looked up at him, he quickly looked away. I wondered if he had heard – or saw – what happened with Adrian and me. A part of me wished he had, so that he knew I didn't want to be with Adrian - and that I wanted, with everything I had, to be with him. But the other part of me - the rational one - reminded me that he _just didn't care_.

Then – thank the Lord – Lissa spoke. "Um… since we have a while, I think this is a really good time to talk about what we're going to do. You know, finding my sister – or brother – and Victor."

Everyone looked relieved, and the tension in the car decreased dramatically.

"Yeah," Adrian looked thoughtful, "we really need to figure out what we're doing."

"No shit, Sherlock," I muttered. Christian snickered, but Adrian didn't seem to hear.

"Okay," Lissa ignored my comment, "so… what's the priority here? Finding the murder, the sibling, or Victor?"

"Well," I murmured, "I think finding your sibling is at the top of the list. But that doesn't mean that we should forget about the others. Assuming Victor and the murderer aren't the same people," Adrian's eyebrows rose, "we came here to do three things – and I plan on doing them all."

"And how exactly are you planning on doing that?" Christian asked.

"I'm not doing it alone, you know. Why do you think you're here? To be annoying?" I retorted.

"You don't need any help with that," he smirked.

I glared at him. "Could you just _not_ open your mouth unless you have something intelligent or constructive to say? Which, obviously, isn't going to happen. So just shut up."

Adrian laughed, and I glared at him too – which shut him up effectively.

"It's not like you can talk, Hathaway. You –"

"Do you not understand the meaning of _shut up_?" I growled.

"Oh my god," Lissa interjected angrily. "Would you guys stop? _Please_? I would have thought, after you graduated, you would get over arguing with each other every second of everyday. You're adults. Adults, okay? Not children. Now, what were you saying, Rose?"

I was, like everyone else in the car, speechless. Was Lissa practicing her role of Queen? Because she sure sounded like it. Actually, no, she didn't. She sounded like my _mother_. Lissa was looking at me expectantly.

"Uh…" I managed to get out. "Oh, right. Yeah… thanks. Anyway, I was thinking we should separate into groups so we can get this done faster."

Dimitri spoke for the first time, looking straight at me. "I don't think splitting up is the best way to handle this. If something happened, and we were…attacked, we won't have the sources to back ourselves up."

"Belikov actually has a point," Adrian observed. "It probably wouldn't be the best option, Little Dhampir."

I frowned. Not because of what Adrian had said, but because he was right. Dimitri did have a point. Always one step ahead.

"I didn't mean split up as in physically separate ourselves," I explained. "One group could try and find more information about the murderer; the other group could look into finding Victor; and the third group could be focused on finding the sibling. We'll all generally be together, unless there was some reason we did have to split up."

Lissa looked thoughtful. "That actually isn't a bad idea."

"Sounds good," Christian grinned. I gave him an incredulous look. Did he just agree with me?

"What groups were you thinking of?" Dimitri asked quietly.

I really didn't want to talk to him, but if he asked me a direct question – in front of everyone – I couldn't just ignore him… no matter how much I wanted to. I was in Guardian mode now.

"Well, I think since its Lissa's sibling we're trying to find, she should obviously be one of the ones to look for them. Christian would be with her, of course. And since I'm her Guardian, I'll be going with her, too."

"Well," Adrian said, yawning, "that's settled then."

"I'll go too."

Everyone turned to look at Dimitri.

"Excuse me?" I rose – and probably failed in doing so – an eyebrow.

"I'll go," he repeated evenly. "I'll help find Lissa's sibling." He turned to Lissa. "I owe you, Princess. It's the least I can do."

"Oh," she looked at me carefully, watching my reaction. "Well, thanks, Dimitri. But that's really not necessary…"

"No, it is necessary," he shook his head. Stubborn, _stubborn_ Dimitri. Now I understood why people hated it when I stood my ground. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Lissa bit her lip. _Is that okay with you? _She asked through the bond. _I know you hurt every time you see him. I don't want to cause you any more pain. I'll say no if you want me to, Rose. _

Normally, I would have loved to work alongside Dimitri. It was what I had wanted to do, once I had left the St. Vladimir's. But she was right. Now it would only cause me more pain – something I really didn't need anymore of at the moment. But Lissa was also right about another thing. I was an adult. And I was determined to start acting like one. I'd put my feelings aside, and suffer in silence - like always.

I shrugged, and Lissa took that as a yes.

"Okay," she said, "I guess that's one group sorted."

"Abe said he would be able to get on the murderer's case straight away," Adrian told me. "He already has some suspicions, and since he has so many connections in America and Russia it would be easier for him than anyone else. And I guess your mum will help with that too, since she's his Guardian."

I had forgotten about that. "Yeah, that works," I approved. "That just leaves you and Tasha to get Victor back."

Adrian flashed me a grin. "You can count on me, Little Dhampir."

"I think this is a good idea," Tasha piped in enthusiastically. She grinned at Dimitri, resting her hand on his thigh, and I felt my jaw clench. But to my surprise, he removed it carefully and cleared his throat. She didn't seem to notice, and kept talking. "In my opinion, we should get to work as soon as we arrive in Baia."

"Yeah, well," I glared at her, "no one asked your opinion, did they?"

Tasha looked shocked. The bitch should be.

_Rose! _Lissa gasped. I turned to her. "What?"

_Could you at least be civil? _

"No," I snorted.

_She was only trying to help. _

"She's not doing a very good job," I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

Everyone realised we were talking – or Lissa was, anyway – through the bond. Christian groaned. Dimitri was watching us curiously. Tasha was still in shock, and Adrian was looking at us with an amused expression.

"What?" I demanded.

He laughed. "Nothing. It's just your auras."

"What about our auras?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"They're going crazy. Whenever you guys communicate… they shine really brightly. My eyes hurt."

"Good," I muttered.

"Oh, by the way, cousin... Have you been working on what we practiced back at Court?"

"I have, actually," Lissa beamed. "I was practicing on the plane." Oh, great. So that's where the darkness came from.

Adrian and Lissa got into a deep and animated discussion about Spirit then, and the only words I could understand were 'and' and 'because'. Christian looked incredibly bored – reflecting my feelings exactly. Nobody talked much for the rest of the way – not that that it mattered. We were almost there, anyway.

The hotel was called, ironically, The Viktor. Even though Lissa pretended otherwise, I knew it bothered her. We piled in through the doors, and Adrian sorted out the rooms with the receptionist. Inside, it was very aristocratic, and the paintings and sofa's looked extremely expensive. The design wasn't something you would find in a hotel in America. This was something from a completely different country.

Adrian came back, his hands in his pockets. "They only had four rooms available for one night, all with double beds."

"But there's six of us," I frowned.

He simply shrugged. "That was all they had. Four people are going to have to share two rooms."

Dimitri spoke. "I think we should all probably try and get some sleep. We have to leave early tomorrow to go to Baia."

My internal clock was extremely messed up. At the Academy, we worked on a nocturnal schedule – Moroi couldn't be out in the sun without getting weak. The Court worked in a similar way. But when we left, we had to change the way we normally lived, and sleep when it was dark. And then we had gotten on a plane to Russia, which operated on completely different times to America anyway.

Everyone agreed, and after they said their goodnights, Tasha went off by herself and Adrian seemed to disappear. _Night, Rose_, Lissa said through the bond. She smiled at me sympathetically, and left with Christian.

And that just left Dimitri and me alone – and one room, with one bed.

Oh, shit.

**That was fun to write =) Hope you enjoyed it! Anyway, I keep forgetting to put this in my A/N's, so I thought I'd better do it now. Some people wanted a chapter from DPOV. I want to let you know I haven't ignored this. I was planning on writing this all in RPOV, but things change. I'm trying to update as soon as I can, so doing an extra chapter probably won't help in terms of getting them up faster. I do plan on doing a few from other peoples POV though, and you can also request which chapters you want done and from whose perspective. I'll see what I can do, and put them up when I can!**

**I know this story is kinda slow, but it WILL pick up. And I haven't forgotten – I know that Dimitri's family doesn't know he's not Strigoi. Review =)**


	9. Chapter 9

**You are a AWESOME! Wanna know why? Cos you put up with my LOUSY updating! I'm sorry this took so long. But I can make it up to you :D This chapter is in DPOV! It hasn't been beta'd, so bear with me. I haven't written anything from a guys POV before, so please give me some feedback and tips. Next chapter will be up a LOT sooner than this, probably by Sunday. Again, you guys are INCREDIBLE. **

**xx Rachel**

Chapter 9

DPOV

We were on our way to the airport – definitely not a short ride. But that _might_ be a good thing. If I had a long time in which I had nothing to do, I could maybe attempt to gather myself together and try and sort through my bewildered head. But that could also be bad thing...I knew it would hurt too much.

And pain really wasn't something I needed more of at the moment.

By some cruel act of God, I had ended up sitting next to _he_r: Roza. Not that I detested her – no, I would never feel that way towards Rose. She was amazing, beautiful, strong - everything I wish I could be. It was just that every time I saw or even _thought_ about her, I died a little inside.

And, well, touching her wasn't really helping the situation.

The smell of her hair was too strong to be able to ignore – the scent of freesia, jasmine and coconut intoxicating. It reminded me of the night in the cabin, when all I could remember was _us_. Hell, the skin that was touching hers was on fire.

I stared straight ahead, fixing my frustrated glare on the back of the driver's head. I faintly heard Tasha and Adrian talking, but all my ears registered was Rose's steady breathing. _Listen to yourself, Dimitri. You're pathetic._ Eventually Tasha fell asleep, and Adrian had either dozed off or was sitting there in quiet contemplation – whichever, since he had his eyes closed.

I was shocked to see that Rose had fallen asleep on my shoulder. She looked so peaceful and happy; I didn't want to disturb her. But a voice in the back of my mind was telling me this was wrong.

_No, no, no. You don't love her anymore. You even told her that. Stay away. _

I decided to listen to that voice – since it was the only reasonable one around these days – and went to push her away gently. She snuggled in to me, and moaned my name. I froze. The sound sent shivers rolling through me, and I stared at her in surprise.

Crap. Was she awake?

No. She was definitely sleeping. Then I realised something – she was dreaming about _me_. And that was enough to want to hold her one last time. I wrapped my arms around her – careful not to wake her up.

And I tried to imagine it was just us, before any of these terrible things happened.

* * *

Rose stirred ever so slightly in my arms, and I sighed in contentment. This was perfect: to fall asleep and wakeup with the love of your life, everyday. I was the luckiest man on Earth, because she was mine. Roza was _mine._

I had the weirdest dream – and it seemed to last for a lifetime. Actually, it was more like a nightmare. I had been turned into a Strigoi, and did all these terrible things I had no control over.

Crime. Thievery. Murder.

Then, as crazy as it sounds, I was turned back into a Dhampir. God, I had a freakish imagination. And when I was turned, I didn't love Rose anymore – and she didn't love me. The reason I knew this was a dream – or a nightmare – was because that would never happen. Ever.

Then she was accused of murdering the Queen. She was locked up and put on trial. We ended up running away from Court and planned to go to Baia, with everyone else. And that's when it ended.

I really do worry about myself sometimes.

But it didn't matter. As long as we had each other, everything would be okay. She snuggled closer to me, and I automatically tightened my arms around her. As cliche as it sounded, I knew this was the way it's supposed to be. Like we're two puzzle pieces, meant to be - "Dimitri! Wake up," she hissed. I mumbled an inaudible 'no' and pulled her closer, burying my face in her hair. Five more minutes...

And then she slapped me – hard. What the hell? My eyes flew open, and I looked down at her, confused. And then it all came back to me – realisation slapping me in the face. Everyone outside, the car… This wasn't a dream at all. This was reality.

Shit.

I let go immediately, and we were both out of the car in a flash. She was blushing furiously, and everyone was giving me weird looks – except Adrian. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Believe me, the feeling was mutual.

I went out of my way to avoid her, and thankfully sat next to Tasha on the plane. "So," she said, twirling her hair around with her fingers, "how have you been, Dimitri? Really."

"What do you mean?" I stalled.

"You know what I mean." Yeah, I sure did. I stared at her. How _had_ I been? I really didn't know. I didn't think I knew myself anymore. Everything seemed surreal, like I was stuck in nightmare, unable to wakeup. I should have died. But I hadn't. I was here, alive.

For once, I was confused.

For once, I was unsure.

For once, I didn't know how to feel.

For once in my life I was _scared._

But no one could know that except me. "I'm fine," I lied. It felt wrong… lying to Tasha. But it was something I had to do. I knew she didn't believe me, though. _I _didn't even believe myself.

"Well," she changed the subject, "are you looking forward to meeting your family?"

This made me smile. Only very slightly, but it was still a smile. "Yes. I haven't seen them since I arrived at St. Vladimir's." Thinking back, I realised it had actually been a long time – over a year. I had talked to them over the phone a few times, but that was it.

"Do you miss them?"

"Yes."

"Do they know what happened?

I frowned. This was starting to feel more like an interrogation than just a normal conversation. But she did have a point. I was pretty sure they knew I had been turned into a Strigoi. To my family, when you're a Strigoi, you are basically dead. They didn't consider Strigoi as being anything living, so if you ever happened to become one, you were gone. And I didn't think they knew I was alive yet.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, that will sure be a surprise for them." She grinned enthusiastically, but I could only return a half smile that didn't touch my eyes. Her smile vanished, and she looked hurt. Immediately feeling guilty, I took a deep breath, and said something I really wanted to kill myself for.

"I really want you to meet my family. They'll love you."

Oh god. I mentally slapped myself. How could I say that? It really killed me – not because it wasn't true. But because I knew I should be saying that to someone else. And that someone was not Tasha. But obviously, Tasha being Tasha, she took it the wrong way.

"Oh my gosh, Dimitri! I would love to meet your family," she gushed, putting a hand over mine. "That would be so great."

I opened my mouth to tell her that wasn't what I meant, but just then, Rose walked past. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw us – her furious eyes fixed on Tasha. And I swear Tasha smirked. I wanted to die. But then she shifted her gaze to me, her angry glower changing. I couldn't read the expression on her face, but that didn't matter.

Her eyes said it all.

But she quickly looked away and took a set behind us, next to Adrian. I had a feeling she was doing it because she was angry with me. Well, I had no right to care anymore.

"What did you say?" Tasha asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Uh…never mind," I muttered. We sat in silence after that, and the roar of the engines and buzz of everyone's conversation rang in my ear. I definitely wasn't going to go to sleep again – what happened in the car was embarrassing enough. Then I heard Adrian say my name. Pretty damn loudly, too.

I frowned, and listened carefully. I wasn't exactly eavesdropping on their conversation, but if Adrian insisted on talking about me so loud the whole plane could hear, I didn't see anything wrong with overhearing it.

"This isn't about him," I heard Rose say quietly. "This is about us." Neither of them said anything for a while – either that, or they were whispering and I couldn't hear them. "I really tried, Adrian. And it was great – while it lasted." I wondered what they were talking about.

Their relationship came to mind.

"You really are an amazing person."

I held my breath, waiting – guiltily – for his reply. But he didn't answer. Curiosity was getting the better of me, and I turned around to see what they were doing.

But I should have known…curiosity killed the cat.

I snapped back around, my jaw clenched. I was really pissed. How _dare_ he? The last thing I wanted to see was my Roza with Adrian's tongue down her throat. Disgusted, I closed my eyes tight shut, and took in a deep breath. When I heard Tasha gasp, my eyes flashed open. I blinked at her. She looked like she was in pain. "What is it?" I frowned.

She winced. "Ouch…my hand." I looked down and saw that to my horror, her hand was still over mine and I had squeezed the living hell out of it.

"Sorry," I mumbled. What was wrong with me? Or better yet, what _wasn't_ wrong with me?

"Don't worry about it. It's no big deal."

"No," I groaned, "It is a big deal. I need to get a grip of myself."

"Look," she bit her lip. "This isn't going to be easy, Dimitri." Tell me something I don't know. "You've been through more than anyone else I know. And I'm not going to say I know how you feel, because, well…I have no idea. But I'll always be here for you, if you ever need me," she said seriously.

"Thanks, Tasha," I smiled. "But I can do this by myself – and I will." I don't know what it was, but I had always felt like I was on my own. Me against the world. I had learnt to deal with my own problems alone – I didn't need other people fighting my battle for me. Maybe that was why some people considered me 'anti-social'.

"Okay," she said finally. "And maybe…once this is over, we could work something out."

Just like that, any emotion that may have been on my face disappeared, and I put my walls up. Rose hated it when I did this, and called it my 'Guardian Mask'. But my personal life was a touchy subject right now.

"Tasha," I sighed. "I already told you, back when you made your offer at the Academy. I only think of you as a friend. That hasn't changed." It sounded harsh, but it was necessary.

She looked taken aback, but only nodded. "We'll see."

We didn't say anything else, and sat in silence for the rest of the ride – I sat there and tuned the world out.

It could have been a few seconds, minutes, or hours later, when Abe tapped me on the shoulder. I almost jumped three feet into the air – which was a first. Being a Guardian, I should have more awareness than that.

"Dimitri," he murmured.

"Lord Mazur," I nodded politely. My opinion of him had changed dramatically since I first met him. I used to look down on that sort of business: dark and manipulative, getting others to do your dirty work. But I had realised that wasn't the whole truth, and Abe Mazur was actually a genuinely good person. He had good connections, yes, but he used them to help others, not just himself. I also found out he is Rose's father, and he also helped get her get out of the corrupted Court. That kind of changed things. So at the end of day, I respected him.

"You know the plan?"

I nodded. Tasha was looking out the window, but I could tell she was listening. Not that it mattered – it wasn't anything secretive.

"Good. As soon as you find something out, make sure you let me know."

"Of course," I assured him. "You'll be the first to know."

"Thank you, Dimitri. Rose and Lissa think they know what they're doing, but really, they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into." Honestly, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into either. He turned around to leave, but then stopped. He looked slightly uncomfortable. "Are you…how are you coping?"

This shocked me – for many reasons. But here it goes again: people asking me if I was okay. I hated it. It made me feel like a little boy that needed taking care of.

"I'm fine," I said bluntly.

He looked like he wanted to say something more, but turned on his heel and went back to his seat at the back of the plane. When we landed, I took off with Tasha, and everyone waited outside the airport as Abe called someone to pick us up.

It felt so good to be home. Even though this wasn't Baia, there was something about St. Petersburg that held a warm, comforting familiarity. Abe and Guardian Hathaway left to go to Mark and Oksana's straight away, and we piled into the car. An awkward silence hung in the air – and I tried my best to ignore it.

For the first time, I took in everyone's appearances. They looked haggard and exhausted, jetlag finally catching up to them. Rose had faint dark circles under her eyes, and her clothes were crumpled – probably from sleeping.

But she still looked a beautiful as ever.

Hell, she could be wearing rags and have her hair a mess and she would look amazing. When she looked up, her warm brown eyes meeting mine, I realised I had been staring. Smooth one, Dimitri. I quickly looked away, embarrassed at myself.

Then, thankfully, Lissa decided to break the silence. "Um… since we have a while, I think this is a really good time to talk about what we're going to do. You know, finding my sister – or brother – and Victor."

Everyone looked relieved, and the tension in the car decreased.

"Yeah," Adrian looked thoughtful, "we really need to figure out what we're doing." He really was an idiot.

"No shit, Sherlock," Rose muttered under her breath. Christian snickered, but Adrian didn't even hear.

"Okay," Lissa ignored her comment, "what's the priority here? Finding the murder, the sibling, or Victor?"

I listen in silence as they discussed their plan, never interjecting or suggesting anything. But then something perked my interest when Rose mentioned splitting into groups. "What groups were you thinking of?" I asked quietly. A part of me didn't even expect her to answer, to ignore my question and keep talking. But she didn't.

"Well, I think since its Lissa's sibling we're trying to find, she should obviously be one of the ones to look for them. Christian would be with her, of course. And since I'm her Guardian, I'll be going with her, too." She sounded so professional, like a true Guardian would when discussing plans. This made me feel proud.

"Well," Adrian said, "that's settled then."

"I'll go," someone said. I didn't realise, until everyone turned to stare at me, that _I_ was that someone.

"Excuse me?" Rose asked incredulously.

"I'll go," I repeated. "I'll help find Lissa's sibling." I turned to her, and spoke seriously. "I owe you Princess, it's the least I can do."

"Oh," she glanced at Rose. "Well, thanks, Dimitri. But that's really not necessary."

"No, it is necessary," I shook my head. I refused to back down. I had sworn to do everything I could to protect her, and I planned on keeping that promise. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

She bit her lip. I realised she must have been communicating with Rose through their bond – something I didn't know much about, but I knew enough. I watched them carefully. Rose gave a little shrug, and Lissa sighed. "Okay," she said, "I guess that's one group sorted."

"Abe said he would be able to get on the murderer's case straight away," Adrian declared. "He already has some suspicions, and since he has so many connections in America and Russia it would be easier for him than anyone else. And I guess your mum will help with that too, since she's his Guardian."

"Yeah, that works," Rose approved. "That just leaves you and Tasha to get Victor back."

Much to my annoyance, Adrian flashed her one of his stupid grins. "You can count on me, Little Dhampir."

I always wondered how he had come up with that nickname. Well, I liked my nickname for her better, anyway.

For the first time in hours, Tasha spoke. "I think this is a good idea," she grinned, placing a hand on my leg. I stiffened. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I brushed it away gently and cleared my throat. She didn't seem to notice, and kept talking. "In my opinion, we should get to work as soon as we arrive in Baia."

"Yeah, well," Rose snapped, venom dripping from her words, "no one asked your opinion, did they?"

I was shocked. How could she talk to Tasha that way? Even after graduation, she still hadn't seemed to learn how to control her emotions. I knew full well that she didn't like her, but she was an adult now, not a child. And adults treat each other with respect. I was about to chastise her, but Tasha shook her head slightly. I frowned, but didn't say anything.

'What?" Rose demanded. "No," she snorted. Then she crossed her arms over her chest. "She's not doing a very good job."

Then I – and everyone else – realised that she hadn't gone crazy and started talking to people who weren't real, and was actually talking to Lissa.

The bond again. It still fascinated me more than anything else.

She turned to Adrian, who looked amused. "What?"

He laughed. "Nothing. It's just your auras."

"What about our auras?" she asked, suddenly curious. I was interested in these so called 'aura's' too.

"They're going crazy. Whenever you guys communicate… they shine really brightly. My eyes hurt."

"Good," Rose muttered.

I tuned out after that, disappointed that Adrian didn't elaborate. After what seemed like hours, we finally arrived at The Viktor. Adrian came back from the reception, his hands in his pockets. "They only had four rooms available for one night, all with double beds."

Great. I knew Adrian could have done better than that, what with all his money.

"But there's six of us," Rose frowned.

He simply shrugged. "That was all they had. Four people are going to have to share two rooms."

The lost hours of sleep were catching up with me, and I yawned. "I think we should all probably try and get some sleep. We have to leave early tomorrow to go to Baia." I was pretty sure everyone else was eager to get some sleep too, especially Lissa, Christian and Adrian. They were probably even weaker because they hadn't gotten their dose of blood in a while. As much as it disgusted me, I wondered what they were going to do about it while they were here. In Baia, there were Dhampir's who gave blood willingly, and even lived off the high, much like drug addicts – earning my home the title 'blood whore commune'. But I knew they wouldn't stoop that low.

Well, maybe Adrian might. Actually, Adrian probably would. I shivered, remembering Rose with his bite marks on her neck. And, of course, I remembered _my _bite marks on her neck. When I was a Strigoi, and had fed off her.

That was something I would never, _ever_ forgive myself for. And that wasn't even the worst of the things I had done.

But then everyone disappeared, and I realised – all too late – who I was left behind with.

It was times like this when I was positive the world was out to get me.


	10. AN

Hey everyone.

I'm really sorry, and I know you guys hate it when people do this, but this story is going to be on hiatus.

Things have come up recently, and life is just getting in the way of me being able to sit down and write. Just to mention a few: school, exams, family problems, travelling and job changes (may be moving to a different country as well, which is really scary!). I just don't want to keep you guys hanging on the edge for a chapter that isn't going to come - at least not for awhile.

Note that I said HIATUS, and not that is was stopped :) So I do plan on continuing it, I just don't know when.

Thank you so much for your patience and understanding, and I hope you don't hate me too much :)

xx Rachel


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